03 - So Very Thirsty

[doofenstrudel]

[A - Action - 457 Stone Street, backdated to Monday]

[So there was the day's milk delivery. And there was the helpful poster, attached to the house's mailbox, declaring that the milk was "mandatory". Which brings us to the Doof, blithely going about his morning in a milk-free fashion. He's scrambling eggs! And making toast!]

Ha! "Mandatory", my nose! I am far too evil to comply with anything "mandatory"!

[And there's cackling, and general being pleased with himself as he eats his breakfast... But oh, the toast is dry. The eggs are too salty. He's thirsty...]

...boy, I could really use a glass of milk.

[No helping it, then. He pours himself a nice big glass, gulps it down, grimaces slightly...]

...That... wasn't so bad.

[Aaaaand he doubles over with sudden stomach cramps.]

[B - Action - Bakery, again backdated to Monday]

[Stomach cramps are no deterrent to Heinz Doofenshmirtz going to work! So there he is. At work. Pale, and shivering, and glassy-eyed, and making a valiant effort at frosting a cake. The pink roses are three layers deep, now.]

I... think I now understand why the letter said to... to not drink the milk....

Comments

[a-crazygirl.livejournal.com]

[Toni only has to see the empty glass to realize what happened.]

Why did you drink it? Are you nuts?

[doofenstrudel]

It seemed like a good idea when I did it... [Urp] In retrospect? Not so much.

[His shoulders tense and he gets an "I'm about to hurl" hunch to his posture.]

[a-crazygirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, really? Didn't anybody tell you not to drink that stuff? Come on, we're going to the hospital.

[And she reaches over to grab him by the arm.]

[doofenstrudel]

I tend to learn better by experiencing things... hey!

[He's immediately struggling to get out of her grasp. He's got pretty skinny arms. Not that much strength.]

No hospital! It is not that serious! No worse than... than a bit of food poisoning, I'm... hnng!

[The struggling ceases while he enjoys another round of cramps.]

[a-crazygirl.livejournal.com]

Yes, hospital. I'm not about to stand here and watch you keel over, okay?

[He'll likely die on the way there, but at least she tried, dammit.]

B

[imoutos]

[ Nadeko happens to be out at the bakery today-- with both of her not!parents droned, staying at home where they are just makes her too uncomfortable and causes her to go take walks around town instead. And that's how she ends up here, and even though she doesn't recognize the man (even though she talked to him over the phones before) she frowns a little in worry. ]

... Um.. Are you okay?

[doofenstrudel]

Eeeeehh? A customer?

[With a piercing, accented voice like his, perhaps she recognizes him now! But there's no recognition in return. Peering out from behind the overly-frosted cake, he doesn't seem to know what to make of her.]

Strictly speaking, no, no, I'm not okay...

[He sets down the frosting bag and lurches forward to the counter.]

...but I'msureit'llpasssoon... so!

[Both his hands slap down onto the counter top, and he's obviously using it to brace himself. He's shaky.]

You want something?

[imoutos]

[ The accent does help a little, probably because it's so strange. There's a moment of recognition, but it fades away when he asks her what she wants. ]

U-um, I wanted to buy some cake, if it's okay.. [ She's still eyeing him with a somewhat wary look, especially with how shakey he is. ]

[doofenstrudel]

Cake?

[He seems, for a moment, to be unclear as to what "cake" is. Might be delirious. It comes to him, though, and he jolts slightly upwards. Slightly.]

Oh, right... cake. An entire cake? Just a slice or two? [Wobble.] We have... what do we have?

[He glances over his shoulder, to look back at the cake he was working on.]

No, not that one... not my best work... carrot cake? Carrot cake. Or white cake with fr... f..

[He curls into himself suddenly, one hand clutching at his gut and making a very pained sound.]

[imoutos]

U-um, a little bit would be f-- ... [ A pause as he talks again. ] C-carr--

[ She keeps trying to speak up, but in shyness she shuts up each time as he continues on, before he finally seems to turn a bit pained. It's even enough for Nadeko to easily notice it, her eyes widening a little. ]

S-s-sir?!

[nosoul-nomind.livejournal.com]

[Barton walks in to find him on the floor in pain.]

...Whoa, what happened?

[doofenstrudel]

[He's trying to support himself on a chair, but the stomach cramps have him on his knees at this point.]

...drank the milk.

[nosoul-nomind.livejournal.com]

Geez, it must be beyond bad for you to look like that.

[After a moment's hesitation, she'll walk over and try and help him into the chair, at least.]

[doofenstrudel]

[He tenses when Baron first tries to help. If he felt any better, he'd pull away. But feeling as he does, he lets her at least get him to a sitting position.

He remains doubled over, grimacing.]

I feel like little gnomes are tying my intestines in knots...!

[nosoul-nomind.livejournal.com]

[She looks back at the empty bottle, then back at him, questioningly.] Wait, that's not the milk, is it? Jesus, you're lucky you ain't dead. Why'd you go and drink that stuff? I thought everyone knows the stuff the Milkman brings is poisoned.

( action )

[myougi.livejournal.com]

[ Marui's face is rather puffy, which is causing him to thpeak with a thlight lithp... but he looks alright by comparison. ]

Um... that'th enough frothting, I think. And you don't look too great... thouldn't you take a day off or thomthing?

[doofenstrudel]

Oh? ...oh. Yes. That's a lot of roses.

[So he stops frosting, and looks to who gave him the advice. His face falls further. Yes, it's possible.]

It's you. You sound like you've got marbles in your mouth. Don't lecture me about "taking a day off!"

[He's shaking the pastry bag limply in the boy's direction.]

[myougi.livejournal.com]

Uh, I have hiveth and a lithp. You look like you're about to fall over and puke all over the plath. Thoth are like, two levelth of pain completely.

[doofenstrudel]

Just where did you get hives and a lisp from?

[He swallows hard, obviously wrestling with some nausea.]

I have schemes to fund. I... I... there are things at the hardware store that I need to buy. Things...

[He wipes his forehead. Then lurches to the sink to wash his hands.]

[myougi.livejournal.com]

Well... there were thpiderth in the milk I drank and they did not agree with my fath.

[ ... ] Can't that wait just one day? Come on, it's just twenty-four hourth, it'th not like a long-term thetback or anything.

B.

[jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com]

[Mart waltzes into the store with one thing on his mind.]

Hiya Doof, I'm here for my cheesecake!

[doofenstrudel]

[Joy! And disappointment! For in all his sickness, he has not had the chance to incorporate a brick into Mart's cheesecake like he had planned.

Perhaps another time.]

Ah... cheesecake, right. Yes. Allow me to retr...! AAAAGH!

[And he collapses on the floor in an agonized heap. The scream soon trails off to a whimper. A hand lifts just barely into view, waving to the right.]

Do me a favor and... ohithurts... it's in the box. In the case. Please take it... aaaghghghghh....

[jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com]

[Mart shrugs. He'd help but... food first.]

Thanks, buddy!

[Mart walks over to where the cake box is.]

[doofenstrudel]

[There are a few boxes laid out in a refrigerated case, but one has a note taped to the top, with "Mart" written on it. And inside is nice-looking Oreo cheesecake. Creamy filling, speckled slightly with chocolate cookie, decorated with half-Oreos on top.]

It... haah... you know, it never occurred to me how... nngh... simple a crust made of cookie was. Butter. Crumbs. Sugar. B... beautifully simple...

[All said while still lying on the floor.]

[jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com]

Yeah, good job!

I especially like the cookie covering.

[Just gonna grab that box.]