doofenstrudel | 03 - So Very Thirsty

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03 - So Very Thirsty

[A - Action - 457 Stone Street, backdated to Monday]

[So there was the day's milk delivery. And there was the helpful poster, attached to the house's mailbox, declaring that the milk was "mandatory". Which brings us to the Doof, blithely going about his morning in a milk-free fashion. He's scrambling eggs! And making toast!]

Ha! "Mandatory", my nose! I am far too evil to comply with anything "mandatory"!

[And there's cackling, and general being pleased with himself as he eats his breakfast... But oh, the toast is dry. The eggs are too salty. He's thirsty...]

...boy, I could really use a glass of milk.

[No helping it, then. He pours himself a nice big glass, gulps it down, grimaces slightly...]

...That... wasn't so bad.

[Aaaaand he doubles over with sudden stomach cramps.]

[B - Action - Bakery, again backdated to Monday]

[Stomach cramps are no deterrent to Heinz Doofenshmirtz going to work! So there he is. At work. Pale, and shivering, and glassy-eyed, and making a valiant effort at frosting a cake. The pink roses are three layers deep, now.]

I... think I now understand why the letter said to... to not drink the milk....

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Nadeko happens to be out at the bakery today-- with both of her not!parents droned, staying at home where they are just makes her too uncomfortable and causes her to go take walks around town instead. And that's how she ends up here, and even though she doesn't recognize the man (even though she talked to him over the phones before) she frowns a little in worry. ]

... Um.. Are you okay?

Eeeeehh? A customer?

[With a piercing, accented voice like his, perhaps she recognizes him now! But there's no recognition in return. Peering out from behind the overly-frosted cake, he doesn't seem to know what to make of her.]

Strictly speaking, no, no, I'm not okay...

[He sets down the frosting bag and lurches forward to the counter.]

...but I'msureit'llpasssoon... so!

[Both his hands slap down onto the counter top, and he's obviously using it to brace himself. He's shaky.]

You want something?

[ The accent does help a little, probably because it's so strange. There's a moment of recognition, but it fades away when he asks her what she wants. ]

U-um, I wanted to buy some cake, if it's okay.. [ She's still eyeing him with a somewhat wary look, especially with how shakey he is. ]

Cake?

[He seems, for a moment, to be unclear as to what "cake" is. Might be delirious. It comes to him, though, and he jolts slightly upwards. Slightly.]

Oh, right... cake. An entire cake? Just a slice or two? [Wobble.] We have... what do we have?

[He glances over his shoulder, to look back at the cake he was working on.]

No, not that one... not my best work... carrot cake? Carrot cake. Or white cake with fr... f..

[He curls into himself suddenly, one hand clutching at his gut and making a very pained sound.]

U-um, a little bit would be f-- ... [ A pause as he talks again. ] C-carr--

[ She keeps trying to speak up, but in shyness she shuts up each time as he continues on, before he finally seems to turn a bit pained. It's even enough for Nadeko to easily notice it, her eyes widening a little. ]

S-s-sir?!

[He needs a few moments to let the cramps pass, making a horrible flinchy face the entire time. When it finally works its way through him he relaxes visibly.]

Aaah....

...did you say carrot?

[Oh wait, she's worried...]

Don't mind me. I drank the milk this morning. I'm... sure I'll be fine. Later.

I was going to say I don't mind carrot cake..

[ Gripping onto the sides of her hat now, as if she's trying to hide under it by doing that. His final proclamation surprises her a little though. ]

E-eh..? You drank the milk?! But the milk is bad..!

Yes. Everyone keeps telling me that. I've learned my lesson. The lecturing can stop.

[He sighs. Then stares at her a few moments, and reaches out to at least tap the brim of her hat higher.]

Would you stop with the cowering? I'm not going to eat you.

...not going to eat anything today, to be on the safe side...

[He rolls his shoulders and settles back, shuddering. Brr. Chills.]

Carrot cake. Just one slice for you...?

S-s-sorry.

[ It's probably both at the 'the lecturing can stop' thing and the fact that she needs to stop cowering. She glances around a bit nervously, but lets go of her hat since he told her to.

It doesn't take away her nervousness, though. ]

U-um, I'd like three slices, for the others in my house too.. If that's okay..

Three slices is fine. This is a bakery! It's here so people can have as much cake as they can afford!

[He shuffles off, folding up a box, lining it with nicely-cut waxed paper, and placing three generously-cut slices of carrot cake into it. A bit of stamina seems to have come back to him, for the moment.

Though he seems rather winded by the time he brings it back to the counter.]

...you know, you remind me of someone.

[ She nods, trying to seem a bit more enthusiastic - perhaps for his sake. ]

Thank you very much, sir..!

[ At his remark she tilts her head slightly to the side, in curiosity. ]

Remind you of someone..? W-would it be okay for me to ask of who?

There was this girl on the phone... Nadeeko? I think that was her name. Stammery. Sort of nice, actually.

[He stops, then. Wait! He's being nice! Much too nice! That has to stop!]

Ehem, well! Never mind. 3 slices of cake is sixty cents.

Here is sixty cents..

[ She grabs it out of her (rather cutesy) wallet, handing it to him. ]

A-and, as to that girl.. Her name was Nadeko, right? Nadeko Sengoku.. [ She giggles, slightly awkwardly. ] That's me.

[He rings it up, takes the money, and plunks it in the cash. The satisfaction of it almost brings color back to his face.]

...oh!

[The embarrassment that he's feeling is enough to bring him almost back to normal skin tone.]

Nadeko! Well... that would explain all the familiarity.

Yes! [ She nods. ]

I remember talking to you over the phone a little while ago.. ... Sorry that you drank the milk.

Bah. It was for science! Man must take risks to advance the total sum of all knowledge!

[No, he's not going to admit that he drank it because sometimes, he's not very bright...]

[ It's okay, she believes him either way with as naive as she is. ]

R-really..? [ Perhaps her look is even slightly admiring now, her eyes getting a bit wider. ] Would you really take risks just to help everyone else out as well..?

Of course!

[No delay in saying it. None! He was embarking upon an ego trip, and there was no turning back from one of those.]

I will find a way to get us all out of this place! Anything worth doing is at least a bit risky. I am up for risk! And danger!

[He flinches and shudders, apparently fighting off a bit more nausea.]

...but not up for any more milk.

That's so great...

[ Do you need more help on that ego trip? Because Nadeko is providing all of the help right now. ]

You're such a great person, sir, doing that for everyone even though it might be dangerous..! [ ... She giggles a bit awkwardly. ] Maybe you can have danger that's not the milk kind though..

[She's refilling the metaphorical gas tank and also pitching in for metaphorical snacks!]

It is the least that someone with a speck of talent can do around here! Where would we be if the useful people simply sat around all day?

I have read the little welcome pamphlet. Have you? It seems to show people fighting, and certainly thinking... but not so much inventing.

Uh-huh, I read it.. [ She nods, fascinated by his story. ]

S-so.. are you saying you can invent new things here to get us out of here?

[He's quite engaged in the conversation now, despite obviously suffering from the poison. He manages to maintain a grin even through wiping sweat off his brow, and fetching a stool to sit on.]

Yes! Well, I am a scientist with a diploma in evil. Usually that implies crazy laser-powered contraptions and marching robot armies and booby traps, yes? That is what I do! And my biggest enemy is now this town, and it will get the very worst that I can bring.

[ Her mind probably skipped over the evil part, as she's still looking at him in admiration - perhaps a little worry too, with the way he's looking. ]

Someone like you must be able to bring down whoever is behind the city in one blow..! So I guess we have nothing to worry about after all, huh?

Ahahaha, well, it might take a few blows... but I shall strike those blows fiercely! This town has not quite seen someone like me, I am sure of that.

Hoo, it is so nice to be sitting down, everything stops with the spinning for a while...

[And his look grows thoughtful and assessing. This girl was sweet and compliant and at least somewhat clever...]

You know... I might be in need of an assistant at some point soon. An extra pair of hands is useful around the lab. Now, I'm sure you're a busy girl... but if you could spare a little time, would you care to help me out?

Assistant.. Me?

[ She looks a bit surprised at the offer - but probably because she wouldn't think he'd offer that to her. But she does look somewhat eager, even admits her usual nervousness and fumbliness as she nods. ]

If it's to help out everyone else in the town too, I would be really, really glad to help you out, sir..!

03 - So Very Thirsty

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