03 - So Very Thirsty

[doofenstrudel]

[A - Action - 457 Stone Street, backdated to Monday]

[So there was the day's milk delivery. And there was the helpful poster, attached to the house's mailbox, declaring that the milk was "mandatory". Which brings us to the Doof, blithely going about his morning in a milk-free fashion. He's scrambling eggs! And making toast!]

Ha! "Mandatory", my nose! I am far too evil to comply with anything "mandatory"!

[And there's cackling, and general being pleased with himself as he eats his breakfast... But oh, the toast is dry. The eggs are too salty. He's thirsty...]

...boy, I could really use a glass of milk.

[No helping it, then. He pours himself a nice big glass, gulps it down, grimaces slightly...]

...That... wasn't so bad.

[Aaaaand he doubles over with sudden stomach cramps.]

[B - Action - Bakery, again backdated to Monday]

[Stomach cramps are no deterrent to Heinz Doofenshmirtz going to work! So there he is. At work. Pale, and shivering, and glassy-eyed, and making a valiant effort at frosting a cake. The pink roses are three layers deep, now.]

I... think I now understand why the letter said to... to not drink the milk....

Comments

[myougi.livejournal.com]

Um... one of both ith fine with me. Whatever'th eathietht to package up.

[doofenstrudel]

Aaah, the packaging...

[Amazingly, he manages to keep the horrible gut cramps and the shaking under control while he packs up a blueberry pie (with a lovely lattice pattern on top) in one box, and a few butter tarts in the other. The tarts are set atop the pie, and both are set on the counter near the cash.]

Now that comes to...

...that comes to a dollar fifteen.

[He stares at the price list taped beside the register.]

CURSE YOU, NINETEEN FIFTIES PRICES! ...oh, that...

[That was a bit more athletic than he had prepared himself for. Down he goes, in a heap.]

[myougi.livejournal.com]

[ he knows how to bandage cuts and how to deal with sprained or twisted muscles, but he never covered anything like this in his first aid experience. ]

Whoa - ! Should I call an ambulance or something? I dunno... get a glass of water? Aspirin? Something...?!

[doofenstrudel]

Oh Perry the Platypus... there you are. And you've fallen into my trap, yes... with the shaved chocolate, over on the....

[Welp, he's on the floor and he's delirious from the pain. And not exactly offering any advice on what to do.]

[myougi.livejournal.com]

[ well, he has no idea if there's aspirin around, but... it is a bakery, so there should be water, right? After a few minutes of searching around, he'll return with a glass of water. ]

Here, drink this. I'll, uh... I'll figure out what to do next...

[doofenstrudel]

[Heinz seems content to lie there on the floor, carrying on an imaginary conversation with his nemesis.]

Oh no, my FrostingInator....!

[Being offered a glass of water seemed to bring him in the direction towards lucidity. His fingers touched the cold glass, and he made an effort to sit up.]

...hey. Where's Perry?

[myougi.livejournal.com]

Perry? Who's that? ... He doesn't live in Mayfield, does he? 'Cause I guess I could go find him, if you wanted to...

[doofenstrudel]

[He drinks more water, blinking his way slowly back to reality.]

...hah. What? In Mayfield? No, no one has reported any platypuses around. If he's here, he'd have tried to... to foil me by now.

[More water. Then a pause to let his stomach gurgle.]

...I can go home now, yes? I think it would be a good idea to go home now, this is probably the sixth time I've wound up on the floor today.

[myougi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that'th probably for the betht. Thould I walk with you or thomething? Wouldn't want you collapthing in the thtreet or anything.

[doofenstrudel]

...you're not wearing a skirt, are you?

[He eyes Marui suspiciously.]

I'm not walking home with you if you're in a skirt.

[myougi.livejournal.com]

No. No, I'm wearing panth. Can you not thee thraight or thomething?

Excellent use of the head-in-hands icon, oh yes.

[doofenstrudel]

I can see well enough, but understanding what I'm seeing? ...not so much.

[And up to his feet! Leaning heavily on the counter as he does.]

Just... get me in the general area of Stone Street, and I should be fine.

haha, ty ty o/

[myougi.livejournal.com]

I can do that. [ ... ] Whenever you're good to go, then.

[doofenstrudel]

[He unties his apron, shakes it out, and drapes it over the counter.]

Let's go.

...and don't forget your desserts!

[myougi.livejournal.com]

[ he'll make sure to grab them and leave his money on the counter. Hopefully nobody will take it... and also, there goes the money he had wanted to spend on chewing gum. At least it went to a good cause... or something. ]

Alright, let's get going, then.