doofenstrudel | 03 - So Very Thirsty

[A - Action - 457 Stone Street, backdated to Monday]

[So there was the day's milk delivery. And there was the helpful poster, attached to the house's mailbox, declaring that the milk was "mandatory". Which brings us to the Doof, blithely going about his morning in a milk-free fashion. He's scrambling eggs! And making toast!]

Ha! "Mandatory", my nose! I am far too evil to comply with anything "mandatory"!

[And there's cackling, and general being pleased with himself as he eats his breakfast... But oh, the toast is dry. The eggs are too salty. He's thirsty...]

...boy, I could really use a glass of milk.

[No helping it, then. He pours himself a nice big glass, gulps it down, grimaces slightly...]

...That... wasn't so bad.

[Aaaaand he doubles over with sudden stomach cramps.]

[B - Action - Bakery, again backdated to Monday]

[Stomach cramps are no deterrent to Heinz Doofenshmirtz going to work! So there he is. At work. Pale, and shivering, and glassy-eyed, and making a valiant effort at frosting a cake. The pink roses are three layers deep, now.]

I... think I now understand why the letter said to... to not drink the milk....

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There was this girl on the phone... Nadeeko? I think that was her name. Stammery. Sort of nice, actually.

[He stops, then. Wait! He's being nice! Much too nice! That has to stop!]

Ehem, well! Never mind. 3 slices of cake is sixty cents.

Here is sixty cents..

[ She grabs it out of her (rather cutesy) wallet, handing it to him. ]

A-and, as to that girl.. Her name was Nadeko, right? Nadeko Sengoku.. [ She giggles, slightly awkwardly. ] That's me.

[He rings it up, takes the money, and plunks it in the cash. The satisfaction of it almost brings color back to his face.]

...oh!

[The embarrassment that he's feeling is enough to bring him almost back to normal skin tone.]

Nadeko! Well... that would explain all the familiarity.

Yes! [ She nods. ]

I remember talking to you over the phone a little while ago.. ... Sorry that you drank the milk.

Bah. It was for science! Man must take risks to advance the total sum of all knowledge!

[No, he's not going to admit that he drank it because sometimes, he's not very bright...]

[ It's okay, she believes him either way with as naive as she is. ]

R-really..? [ Perhaps her look is even slightly admiring now, her eyes getting a bit wider. ] Would you really take risks just to help everyone else out as well..?

Of course!

[No delay in saying it. None! He was embarking upon an ego trip, and there was no turning back from one of those.]

I will find a way to get us all out of this place! Anything worth doing is at least a bit risky. I am up for risk! And danger!

[He flinches and shudders, apparently fighting off a bit more nausea.]

...but not up for any more milk.

That's so great...

[ Do you need more help on that ego trip? Because Nadeko is providing all of the help right now. ]

You're such a great person, sir, doing that for everyone even though it might be dangerous..! [ ... She giggles a bit awkwardly. ] Maybe you can have danger that's not the milk kind though..

[She's refilling the metaphorical gas tank and also pitching in for metaphorical snacks!]

It is the least that someone with a speck of talent can do around here! Where would we be if the useful people simply sat around all day?

I have read the little welcome pamphlet. Have you? It seems to show people fighting, and certainly thinking... but not so much inventing.

Uh-huh, I read it.. [ She nods, fascinated by his story. ]

S-so.. are you saying you can invent new things here to get us out of here?

[He's quite engaged in the conversation now, despite obviously suffering from the poison. He manages to maintain a grin even through wiping sweat off his brow, and fetching a stool to sit on.]

Yes! Well, I am a scientist with a diploma in evil. Usually that implies crazy laser-powered contraptions and marching robot armies and booby traps, yes? That is what I do! And my biggest enemy is now this town, and it will get the very worst that I can bring.

[ Her mind probably skipped over the evil part, as she's still looking at him in admiration - perhaps a little worry too, with the way he's looking. ]

Someone like you must be able to bring down whoever is behind the city in one blow..! So I guess we have nothing to worry about after all, huh?

Ahahaha, well, it might take a few blows... but I shall strike those blows fiercely! This town has not quite seen someone like me, I am sure of that.

Hoo, it is so nice to be sitting down, everything stops with the spinning for a while...

[And his look grows thoughtful and assessing. This girl was sweet and compliant and at least somewhat clever...]

You know... I might be in need of an assistant at some point soon. An extra pair of hands is useful around the lab. Now, I'm sure you're a busy girl... but if you could spare a little time, would you care to help me out?

Assistant.. Me?

[ She looks a bit surprised at the offer - but probably because she wouldn't think he'd offer that to her. But she does look somewhat eager, even admits her usual nervousness and fumbliness as she nods. ]

If it's to help out everyone else in the town too, I would be really, really glad to help you out, sir..!

Yes! You. There is a considerably large task ahead of us all. You do not strike me as a fighter sort, but that does not mean that you must stand by and do nothing.

And it will be educational, as well!

[Okay, okay, he doesn't need to sell it any harder. Grinning, he plucks a piece of paper from the notepad by the cash register, and scribbles his address onto it.]

Here.

[He hands it to her.]

If you need to find me, this is where I should be. When I have operations ready to go, I'll look you up and give you a call.

[ She seems determined on selling herself as well.. ]

T-that's right! I'm not much of a fighter, but.. I-I'm sure I can do other things.. [ Not that she's very good even at selling herself, apparently. ] But I'll do my very best, I promise!

[ She briefly skims the address, before nodding. ]

Please do so, sir. U-um, if you ever need to find me, my address is 1245 Williams Road.

A clever person with enough buttons to push can make all the difference!

[Wow. That one made him feel almost warm and fuzzy. He'd have to remember it. Oh, and remember the address, too. He wasted no time jotting it down.]

Noted!

Hmm, alright..! I'll be off now then, I should probably bring the cake to Chizuko-chan and Homura-chan by now..

[ She nods. ]

See you later then, sir.. Please do your best!

03 - So Very Thirsty

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