doofenstrudel | 04 - Various Flavors of Awful

[Action A - Friday the 19th - 457 Stone Street, morning]

[Doofenshmirtz bolts out of bed with such force that the blankets are thrown to the side of the room. Gasping, flailing, he pats himself down to assure himself that he's fine. Head, shoulders, knees, toes, guts, all of them are actually in place... but he's not quite ready to be relieved yet.]

...I'm alive.

[Still in his pyjamas, staring blankly ahead and trying to process the previous day's trauma, he makes his way down into the kitchen. He's hungry. He's thirsty. Unfortunately, someone had apparently already brought the milk in, setting it on the kitchen counter. Convenient! In his semi-drowsy post-ressurection daze, he pours himself a big glass and downs it.]

I'm alive. Alive! ALIVE, I TELL YOU! Ahahahahah!

[Looks like the guy got the hormone free milk.]

[Action B - Same Day - 457 Stone Street, outside, day]

[The garage at 457 Stone Street is wide-open, and there's a horrible ruckus coming from inside it. Objects are being tossed out into the driveway with gusto, and then are retrieved minutes later by a dirty, raving Doofenshmirtz. Sometimes there is hammering. Sometimes the crackle of welding. Occasionally, there's the KER-ZAP of electricity.]

Come on! DO SOMETHING! Arc! Spin up! Work! WORK! WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING!??!

[He's hitting a crudely-constructed metal box with a wrench, over and over and over again.]

[Action C - Same Day - Phone]

I... I am hopeless. Hopeless!

[He sobs into the receiver]

It doesn't work! I've... I've lost my touch! I can construct frames, shells, yes, and wiring really is only wiring and switches are so simple but... but what good is a big red button that does nothing when you press it?!

[A pause, while he blows his nose noisily.]

They took it away from me! My genius! THEY ROBBED ME OF MY GENIUS!!! How am I going to build a Curdleinator and save us all from this horrible place without my genius?!?! THOSE BASTARDS! I WILL MAKE THEM PAY!!!

[ Oh god it's this guy again.

She'll just be calmly sipping her tea before beginning. ]

You can't lose what you never had.

[ they often say that curiosity kills the cat, but Seychelles can't help peering over her not-father's shoulder as he works anyway. ]

Uhm … what exactly is it supposed to do?

Seems like a strange thing to be able to rob someone of. Are you sure? Maybe you're just having an off day!

phone

Action [B]

Phone.