Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doofenstrudel) wrote2011-08-20 01:58 am
doofenstrudel) wrote2011-08-20 01:58 am
Entry tags:
04 - Various Flavors of Awful
[Action A - Friday the 19th - 457 Stone Street, morning]
[Doofenshmirtz bolts out of bed with such force that the blankets are thrown to the side of the room. Gasping, flailing, he pats himself down to assure himself that he's fine. Head, shoulders, knees, toes, guts, all of them are actually in place... but he's not quite ready to be relieved yet.]
...I'm alive.
[Still in his pyjamas, staring blankly ahead and trying to process the previous day's trauma, he makes his way down into the kitchen. He's hungry. He's thirsty. Unfortunately, someone had apparently already brought the milk in, setting it on the kitchen counter. Convenient! In his semi-drowsy post-ressurection daze, he pours himself a big glass and downs it.]
I'm alive. Alive! ALIVE, I TELL YOU! Ahahahahah!
[Looks like the guy got the hormone free milk.]
[Action B - Same Day - 457 Stone Street, outside, day]
[The garage at 457 Stone Street is wide-open, and there's a horrible ruckus coming from inside it. Objects are being tossed out into the driveway with gusto, and then are retrieved minutes later by a dirty, raving Doofenshmirtz. Sometimes there is hammering. Sometimes the crackle of welding. Occasionally, there's the KER-ZAP of electricity.]
Come on! DO SOMETHING! Arc! Spin up! Work! WORK! WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING!??!
[He's hitting a crudely-constructed metal box with a wrench, over and over and over again.]
[Action C - Same Day - Phone]
I... I am hopeless. Hopeless!
[He sobs into the receiver]
It doesn't work! I've... I've lost my touch! I can construct frames, shells, yes, and wiring really is only wiring and switches are so simple but... but what good is a big red button that does nothing when you press it?!
[A pause, while he blows his nose noisily.]
They took it away from me! My genius! THEY ROBBED ME OF MY GENIUS!!! How am I going to build a Curdleinator and save us all from this horrible place without my genius?!?! THOSE BASTARDS! I WILL MAKE THEM PAY!!!
[Doofenshmirtz bolts out of bed with such force that the blankets are thrown to the side of the room. Gasping, flailing, he pats himself down to assure himself that he's fine. Head, shoulders, knees, toes, guts, all of them are actually in place... but he's not quite ready to be relieved yet.]
...I'm alive.
[Still in his pyjamas, staring blankly ahead and trying to process the previous day's trauma, he makes his way down into the kitchen. He's hungry. He's thirsty. Unfortunately, someone had apparently already brought the milk in, setting it on the kitchen counter. Convenient! In his semi-drowsy post-ressurection daze, he pours himself a big glass and downs it.]
I'm alive. Alive! ALIVE, I TELL YOU! Ahahahahah!
[Looks like the guy got the hormone free milk.]
[Action B - Same Day - 457 Stone Street, outside, day]
[The garage at 457 Stone Street is wide-open, and there's a horrible ruckus coming from inside it. Objects are being tossed out into the driveway with gusto, and then are retrieved minutes later by a dirty, raving Doofenshmirtz. Sometimes there is hammering. Sometimes the crackle of welding. Occasionally, there's the KER-ZAP of electricity.]
Come on! DO SOMETHING! Arc! Spin up! Work! WORK! WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING!??!
[He's hitting a crudely-constructed metal box with a wrench, over and over and over again.]
[Action C - Same Day - Phone]
I... I am hopeless. Hopeless!
[He sobs into the receiver]
It doesn't work! I've... I've lost my touch! I can construct frames, shells, yes, and wiring really is only wiring and switches are so simple but... but what good is a big red button that does nothing when you press it?!
[A pause, while he blows his nose noisily.]
They took it away from me! My genius! THEY ROBBED ME OF MY GENIUS!!! How am I going to build a Curdleinator and save us all from this horrible place without my genius?!?! THOSE BASTARDS! I WILL MAKE THEM PAY!!!
no subject
[Such a distinct voice on this one. Recognition is immediate, and it's only fueling his milky rage.]
You are now on the top of my list! THE VERY TOP! I will construct a Baldinator that will remove every bit of hair from your stupid head, and THEN lash you to a lamppost hiiiiiigh in the town square so that everyone may mock you!
Evil science will find a way!!!!
I am giggling so hard rn oh my god I adore your Doof.
This Homunculus. ]
If my hair falls out, then that'll be just one more thing I can cover with by blaming Mayfield. I had to cut it off once before. [ She has Juri Han with everything in her spirits omg. ] Also, you would find it quite difficult to get me on the lamppost and have me willingly stay there.
Evil science always finds its own way, but somehow you manage to fail at both.
Danke! I am to please! And possibly to confuse.
[Insults don't seem to be sinking in. His words are coming a mile a minute and at high decibels, and he's just short of breathing heavily into the phone.]
It is too late! The gauntlet has been thrown down and my plans have already begun to form!!! You will rue the day that you doubted the intellectual might of Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz!!!
YOU DO A BEAUTIFUL JOB AT BOTH OF THESE THINGS.
[ She remains as cold as ever, to the point where it seems nearly robotic if it wasn't for that sultry tone. ]
Ah, but, intellectual mighty Doofensmirtz, to doubt requires conflicted emotions. I don't believe in your supposed intellectual talents, or science talents or evil genius one bit. But surely a genius like you would know this, right?
I almost made an extra-angry icon for Doof, but ran out of space. He needs it now.
[He's gone full-bore outta-his-gourd mad scientist, now.]
Your doubt is founded in ignorance! The people of this town are ignorant. IGNORANT! It is this IGNORANCE that we geniuses struggle with, but no matter! No matter at all! SOON I WILL SHOW YOU ALL THE ERROR OF YOUR WAYS!!!
[He is gasping for breath, now. This much ranting is hard on the lungs.]
poor doof... he doesn't know what true evil is.
As I said, doubt implies the fact that I am uncertain of your abilities. I am quite certain, and I'm quite certain that you're incompetent. I've met geniuses and prodigies multiple times, and I can say you're nothing like them [ beat ] Well, that's not true. I suppose you'll be forever lonely with these prodigal skills, much like all of the other geniuses I met.
[ remains composed as a cucumber ]
Is that icon doing what I think it's doing? :D
IF I COULD REACH THROUGH THE PHONE AND KILL YOU NOW, I WOULD!!!
[There's an itty bitty portion of him, far beneath the red haze, that is shocked that he'd declare something as over the top as that. Kill? What? But there it is.]
AAAKKPPFBHH-GRAAAAAH!!!
[And the line goes dead. He pulled the phone from the wall, in his incoherent anger.]
it is it is
she is so proud of herself today.
she's going to skip drinking the milk and force edward to drink it to celebrate. ]