Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz (
doofenstrudel) wrote2011-08-20 01:58 am
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04 - Various Flavors of Awful
[Action A - Friday the 19th - 457 Stone Street, morning]
[Doofenshmirtz bolts out of bed with such force that the blankets are thrown to the side of the room. Gasping, flailing, he pats himself down to assure himself that he's fine. Head, shoulders, knees, toes, guts, all of them are actually in place... but he's not quite ready to be relieved yet.]
...I'm alive.
[Still in his pyjamas, staring blankly ahead and trying to process the previous day's trauma, he makes his way down into the kitchen. He's hungry. He's thirsty. Unfortunately, someone had apparently already brought the milk in, setting it on the kitchen counter. Convenient! In his semi-drowsy post-ressurection daze, he pours himself a big glass and downs it.]
I'm alive. Alive! ALIVE, I TELL YOU! Ahahahahah!
[Looks like the guy got the hormone free milk.]
[Action B - Same Day - 457 Stone Street, outside, day]
[The garage at 457 Stone Street is wide-open, and there's a horrible ruckus coming from inside it. Objects are being tossed out into the driveway with gusto, and then are retrieved minutes later by a dirty, raving Doofenshmirtz. Sometimes there is hammering. Sometimes the crackle of welding. Occasionally, there's the KER-ZAP of electricity.]
Come on! DO SOMETHING! Arc! Spin up! Work! WORK! WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING!??!
[He's hitting a crudely-constructed metal box with a wrench, over and over and over again.]
[Action C - Same Day - Phone]
I... I am hopeless. Hopeless!
[He sobs into the receiver]
It doesn't work! I've... I've lost my touch! I can construct frames, shells, yes, and wiring really is only wiring and switches are so simple but... but what good is a big red button that does nothing when you press it?!
[A pause, while he blows his nose noisily.]
They took it away from me! My genius! THEY ROBBED ME OF MY GENIUS!!! How am I going to build a Curdleinator and save us all from this horrible place without my genius?!?! THOSE BASTARDS! I WILL MAKE THEM PAY!!!
[Doofenshmirtz bolts out of bed with such force that the blankets are thrown to the side of the room. Gasping, flailing, he pats himself down to assure himself that he's fine. Head, shoulders, knees, toes, guts, all of them are actually in place... but he's not quite ready to be relieved yet.]
...I'm alive.
[Still in his pyjamas, staring blankly ahead and trying to process the previous day's trauma, he makes his way down into the kitchen. He's hungry. He's thirsty. Unfortunately, someone had apparently already brought the milk in, setting it on the kitchen counter. Convenient! In his semi-drowsy post-ressurection daze, he pours himself a big glass and downs it.]
I'm alive. Alive! ALIVE, I TELL YOU! Ahahahahah!
[Looks like the guy got the hormone free milk.]
[Action B - Same Day - 457 Stone Street, outside, day]
[The garage at 457 Stone Street is wide-open, and there's a horrible ruckus coming from inside it. Objects are being tossed out into the driveway with gusto, and then are retrieved minutes later by a dirty, raving Doofenshmirtz. Sometimes there is hammering. Sometimes the crackle of welding. Occasionally, there's the KER-ZAP of electricity.]
Come on! DO SOMETHING! Arc! Spin up! Work! WORK! WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING!??!
[He's hitting a crudely-constructed metal box with a wrench, over and over and over again.]
[Action C - Same Day - Phone]
I... I am hopeless. Hopeless!
[He sobs into the receiver]
It doesn't work! I've... I've lost my touch! I can construct frames, shells, yes, and wiring really is only wiring and switches are so simple but... but what good is a big red button that does nothing when you press it?!
[A pause, while he blows his nose noisily.]
They took it away from me! My genius! THEY ROBBED ME OF MY GENIUS!!! How am I going to build a Curdleinator and save us all from this horrible place without my genius?!?! THOSE BASTARDS! I WILL MAKE THEM PAY!!!
no subject
[ she keeps her distance.
just in case. ]
Oh. That's a little better! I don't know if it's possible to be more evil than the town itself, though, they might give you a run for your money.
no subject
Why are you backing away?
[He looks hurt.]
I am at the top of my field! ...but the evil that this town spits out is, well, it is a different field of evil entirely. Over the top. Too much.
no subject
[ she freezes, laughing nervously ] Huh? Wh-whatever do you mean by that?
Tell me about it. I sure hope they don't open a school with those kind of degrees here. No one would stand a chance.
no subject
[Wait, what does everyone do again? That doesn't sound horribly embarrassing to retell?]
...you're running away from me! YOU'RE LEAVING ME! [Oh so hurt looking. Oh so wounded.]
I am not so bad, am I...? Not as bad as all of that...? I only try to be bad in certain contexts...
no subject
D-don't be silly! Why would I do that? I mean, we are family according to the town, aren't we? It's just that I've never lived with a mad scientist before.
no subject
Family! Yes! We are FAMILY here! This will be how we make it through this torment! I may be a mad scientist, but I am a father, and I will be a father to ALL OF YOU!!!