Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doofenstrudel) wrote2011-09-02 07:33 pm
doofenstrudel) wrote2011-09-02 07:33 pm
Entry tags:
06 - When An Evil Boy Meets An Evil Girl - Locked to Toni
[No one in Mayfield had warned him about this. Oh sure, there was that phone call, but it didn't really make any sense! It was probably just something misdirected, and it had fallen out of Doofenshmirtz's head immediately.
But one moment he was coming home from work and the next he was disoriented and sitting up in an unfamiliar bed while wearing a tux that was a little too tight at the waist.]
What in the heck is this?!
...is that salmon? I think that's salmon.
[It was after a long day of work. He was hungry for something that wasn't a pastry. Red sheets and suspicious bed shapes (and bed partners) were ignored so he could confirm just what smelled so good, over there.
He was already unbuttoning the tuxedo jacket.]
This is probably a trap. But oooh! Little green peas!
But one moment he was coming home from work and the next he was disoriented and sitting up in an unfamiliar bed while wearing a tux that was a little too tight at the waist.]
What in the heck is this?!
...is that salmon? I think that's salmon.
[It was after a long day of work. He was hungry for something that wasn't a pastry. Red sheets and suspicious bed shapes (and bed partners) were ignored so he could confirm just what smelled so good, over there.
He was already unbuttoning the tuxedo jacket.]
This is probably a trap. But oooh! Little green peas!
no subject
Lake Nose- you mean Loch Ness, right? Yeah, that counts! But I'm talking more than just cryptids. I mean the stuff that everyone just thinks are fairytales. Like vampires. And, uh, werewolves.
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Pity that you didn't resolve that. Loose ends are annoying. All loose and hanging there and... taunting you.
[He's making an effort to be sympathetic. They're in a similar kind of boat. Her previous boat just seemed to be haunted.]
No, no, Lake Nose. Part of the Tri-State Area. Not Scotland. [He waves his hand dismissively.] ...I... cannot say I have encountered either of those? I am not sure that vampires and werewolves and mad science really mix. Monsters cobbled together from spare parts, yes, but that wasn't my primary field of study and it's gross, oh I cannot even begin to tell you how gross....
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Well, I can tell you that where I'm from, vampires and werewolves most definitely exist. Speaking from personal experience, I guess you could say. Have you noticed how there's dog hair in the house when we don't have a dog?
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Ah! Personal experience! You've hung around with them back at home, yes, of course, that's entirely reasonable.
[He is not catching on.]
...we don't have a dog?
[SO not catching on.]
I thought it was just outside whenever I was inside?
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[HOW ABOUT NOW.]
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....
Waaaaaait just one minute!
[Hey! He's catching on!]
Why haven't you been shredding the furniture and howling at the moon and all of that other werewolf stuff?!
[Missing the point, but catching on.]
no subject
cathairy deathbeast is out of the bag now.]Because most of the movies you see make a lot of stuff up. Trust me, if I was any sort of danger to you or the girls I would've told you a long time ago. As it is, my 'abilities' are a little limited right now, anyway!
[She sits back in her chair, suddenly feeling like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.] How does that rank on the scale of weird things you've seen here?
no subject
[Heinz doesn't seem fully satisfied, but he does sit back and relax.]
I would certainly hope you would tell us if you were to become dangerous. Are you likely to receive something in the mail that would be bad news?
[As for weird? He shrugs.]
There is a talking orange pony working at the bakery, now. I hired her. She makes excellent apple crisp. I am still not completely sure how. You are sort of average-weird, in comparison.
no subject
[She cocks an eyebrow.] Orange talking ponies? I think I had some of those toys when I was a kid.
no subject
[He nods.]
Yes, yes... I am pretty sure my daughter had a few of those when she was younger. The implications of such a thing are staggering.