doofenstrudel | 05 - Sharp-Dressed Villain

[Action A, 457 Stone Street, Morning]

[It's another marginally beautiful Mayfield morning, and Doofenshmirtz has volunteered to head out front and get the mail. Still half-asleep, he steps over the brown-papered package on the front step, staggers to the mailbox, extracts the bills, and steps back over the package without even noticing it. Click, and the door shuts behind him.

A few moments later he's back out on the step, staring down at the thing he had previously ignored.]

Ehn, what's this?

[Peering down at it, he's surprised to see that it's addressed to him. A suspicious look is cast left, then right, then upwards, then he quickly snatches up the package and retreats inside.]

I've heard about this! They've given me something back! I wonder what it is?

[He shakes the box this way and that, judging the weight of the contents. Still no idea. Ah well! He rips the paper off, lifts the lid off of the box inside, to find that he's been given back his labcoat.]

..it's a start. A pretty good start.

[Action B, Bakery]

[Another day, another dollar. Heinz is at work... well, he's at work. Physically present at work, behind the counter and minding the bakery. But he's not doing much. No baking, no frosting, no kneading. He has a notebook in hand, and he's scribbling in it madly, occasionally muttering to himself.]

I'll need three dozen of those... hm, I'm going to need multiple trips. Taking measurements into account, we'll need this much lumber just for the supports.... ooh, and tarps. Tarps are important. Many tarps.

[And he's got his apron tied over his labcoat. Having gotten it back? It's going to take effort to make him remove it.]

[Action C, Around Town]

[His shift at work is done, and Doof is now out and about shopping. Still wearing his labcoat, of course. And grinning from ear to ear, occasionally consulting his notebook before plucking an item from the shelves and tossing it in his shopping cart. Hardware store, general store, record store, he's stopping by it. His list of needs is long. You might catch him between stores, too, arms loaded with bags.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[His eyes go wide.]

This town continues to defy my expectations.

I mean... how does that even work?

I have no idea. And you can guess how utterly frustrating that is.

All I know is, one moment I'm in control of a research facility and the next I'm stuck here.

Yes. I believe I can grasp that. Although it could be a clue as to how this place works...

[Oh, the pondering and theories this will lead to...]

Research facility, eh? What was being researched? Anything specific?

Mostly technology.

We were working on a Portal device at the moment... It shoots inter-dimensional portals that you can travel through.

Ooh! That must have some interesting applications.

I did have an OtherDimensionator in the works, before I woke up here.... I wonder if that would be worth resuming research on?

Oh it does. We're quite proud of it.

Really? As in other portals to other dimensions?

It sounds like something worth being proud of!

And yes. Other dimensions! It's only in the planning stages at this point. And my blueprints were left back home. And there was this issue in finding enough space for the self-destruct switch, too...

Do you think you could remake your blueprints here?

Considering we're trapped in what could be a different dimension. It seems like a good device to try and make.

Eh.

[He slumps.]

I don't seem to be able to invent like I used to. It's... gone. Whatever it is that made me able to construct the things I did, I don't seem to have it.

Did you notice that before you came here? Or after?

After, after! The day before I wound up here, I was making considerable progress on an Acneinator! I was just waiting for some parts to come in! Then I wind up HERE and I start trying to put something together in my garage and NOTHING. I get nothing!

Interesting....

This place might have done something to your mind then.

That doesn't sound too unlikely. Have you seen the drones? Have you seen the "kill"drones? There you go.

They've... de-scienced me.

Well that's depressing.

Maybe you'll get it back.

Yes, I have heard that people get things back... I am skeptical that this town would give me what I want so easily or so soon. They gave me my lab coat back, recently. [He sighs.]

Have you ever had something returned to you?

A few things.

A few computers and parts for my turrets. My databases.

It sounds like a start. Something you can work with.

[He lets out a long breath, and dares to smile.]

And for now, I can not work on my non-existent underground lair.

What sort of things are you not adding to it?

I'm not putting in laser cannons!

...no really, I'm not, I'm having a laser shortage at the moment.

I'll not-not put in laser cannons once I've resolved that.

[Beat.]

I am also not installing a coffee maker, comfortable seating in the observation area, and an elevator.

Personally I prefer beams.

[Now she's interested. Ah science.]

What do you not have planned in regards to security?

But the beams come out of the cannons, yes?

[It's nice to be able to talk about your life's passion.]

Security is... not going to involve bucket alarms and tarps and ejection systems. Bah, until I can get back whatever they took from my brain, it's all not going to be childish booby traps. That won't do.

Hm...they could.

[She's enjoying it.]

Would you not be interested in some help? I don't really have anything to do. And it's really boring here.

[He lights up.]

Help would be very much appreciated! And possibly beneficial to you, too, beyond giving you something to do with your time! I have already decided that anyone who helps me construct this thing can have some access to it once it's built. For, you know, personal projects or somewhere to avoid the drone-wife, or what have you.

[If he was excited to be having the conversation before, then he's clear off the excite-o-meter right now!]

Right now? ...we're not-digging. That's about it. It's the boring part. Might take a while. What are you interested in helping with?

Well I maintain the the facility at home. I could help with security and things like lasers. Computers and the like.

I'm very good with computers.

Ah! Help with security would be perfect. And you wouldn't need to get all dirty, once the project is to that point, besides!

...this is the 50s. Computers aren't just sold down at the local electronics shop. Do you... have a spare? Is that what you mean?

[He's cautiously curious as to how this particular hurdle will be overcome.]