doofenstrudel | 05 - Sharp-Dressed Villain

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05 - Sharp-Dressed Villain

[Action A, 457 Stone Street, Morning]

[It's another marginally beautiful Mayfield morning, and Doofenshmirtz has volunteered to head out front and get the mail. Still half-asleep, he steps over the brown-papered package on the front step, staggers to the mailbox, extracts the bills, and steps back over the package without even noticing it. Click, and the door shuts behind him.

A few moments later he's back out on the step, staring down at the thing he had previously ignored.]

Ehn, what's this?

[Peering down at it, he's surprised to see that it's addressed to him. A suspicious look is cast left, then right, then upwards, then he quickly snatches up the package and retreats inside.]

I've heard about this! They've given me something back! I wonder what it is?

[He shakes the box this way and that, judging the weight of the contents. Still no idea. Ah well! He rips the paper off, lifts the lid off of the box inside, to find that he's been given back his labcoat.]

..it's a start. A pretty good start.

[Action B, Bakery]

[Another day, another dollar. Heinz is at work... well, he's at work. Physically present at work, behind the counter and minding the bakery. But he's not doing much. No baking, no frosting, no kneading. He has a notebook in hand, and he's scribbling in it madly, occasionally muttering to himself.]

I'll need three dozen of those... hm, I'm going to need multiple trips. Taking measurements into account, we'll need this much lumber just for the supports.... ooh, and tarps. Tarps are important. Many tarps.

[And he's got his apron tied over his labcoat. Having gotten it back? It's going to take effort to make him remove it.]

[Action C, Around Town]

[His shift at work is done, and Doof is now out and about shopping. Still wearing his labcoat, of course. And grinning from ear to ear, occasionally consulting his notebook before plucking an item from the shelves and tossing it in his shopping cart. Hardware store, general store, record store, he's stopping by it. His list of needs is long. You might catch him between stores, too, arms loaded with bags.]

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There's a nice step stool already in the storage area. You can bring it in if you need it for something.

We have plenty of apples! I think the seasonal fruits are starting to shift, the inventory today is different than the last few days...

Oh, did someone bring them in or something?

[Applejack is starting to gather supplies in the kitchen using a combination of sliding things on counters, balancing others on her head or back, and moving things with her mouth. All the while keeping up the conversation.]

What kind did they give you? Most places use Gala or Golden Delicious since they usually finish ripening around this time...

Someone must have. I'm not sure who stocks the storeroom here.

[Doof is keeping a curious eye on the pony. Just what would a pony bake? He has little doubt that she can, if she's making these sorts of claims. Mayfield's weird, and also? Nemesis secret agent platypus. Animals are more capable than most give them credit for, in his experience.]

Er... I didn't think to check. Gala? I would think Gala. They weren't yellow.

[Along with the materials, Applejack also gets a bunch of ingredients through simple trial and error. Getting to the apples, she gives a nod as she brings them over.]

Yep, these look like Gala, though hard to be sure with the weirdness of this place... Now let's see here.

[And once everything is gathered, she gets to work making what appears to be a delicious apple crisp!]

[This is quite the thing to watch. This pony is pretty good. He has a hard time coring apples, and he has fingers and opposable thumbs! This is some considerable talent.]

I am humbled, I think...

[Lair-planning is forgotten for now. He's not gonna miss a moment of this. Also, apple crisp is delicious!]

[Oddly enough, most kitchens in Equestria have the same sort of layout as normal human kitchens, so Applejack hasn't really needed to relearn much to cook in these conditions.

The process is pretty standard and almost routine for Applejack, though for someone who has not seen a pony cook before, it probably is rather interesting.]

Humbled? Ah'm just making an apple crisp! Ah bet Ah could teach you this recipe in no time flat, even.

No no, apple crisp is straightforward. It... it is more about how you are able to manipulate everything in that kitchen so well!

[A pause.]

...should I run out and get a tub of ice cream? This is a demonstration crisp, we should not sell it....

You really think so? Ah'm only doing what mah Granny taught me. And years of practice for mah friends and family too.

Ah guess most people here don't expect ponies to be able to cook though, huh? It's pretty common where Ah'm from, you know.

[By now the crisp is in the oven to cook and finish up, so Applejack is actually cleaning up the work area at this point.]

Ice cream sounds like a pretty good idea, now that you mention it!

[He is almost frustrated at not being able to get his point across... but wait! Close enough! And it counts in horseshoes, or so he's heard, which seems appropriate...]

You must come from a very interesting place. I hope that I haven't been rude through all of this.

...aaah, it's starting to smell good!

I... really shouldn't leave, I'm still on the clock, maybe we can send someone else out for it....

Not at all, really. Ah mean, Ah was a little confused at the beginning when you were talking about a Perry and Nate Tores, but that's no big deal, right?

Ah'd offer to get go out and get us some ice cream, but Ah not sure which places are run by drones or not, Ah'm afraid...

Ahahah, yes, yes, I was a little off-track, wasn't I...

[Probably better to wait until he actually has a functional SomethingInator before he goes about explaining the concept to the pony. Time to move along.]

I can guarantee you, the grocery store is overrun with drones. I... don't imagine they'd know what to do with you.

Ah, well. We will have to do without ice cream. But whipped cream, I think we can manage that!

Ah figured as much, the drones don't make it easy for me to get supplies or anything Ah sometimes need by mahself...

Oh, but whipped cream would be just as good!

Are the people in your house good about helping you, when you need something from the store?

[Boy. It seems like being a pastel-colored pony is actually not much fun, here in Mayfield.

But he will not say so. Instead, he will pull a bottle of cream from the bakery's refrigerated area, and an already-chilled bowl and whisk!]

I will get started on that, then. It was my idea, after all!

Well, one of them is a pretty stubborn fella, but the others seem pretty nice.

[Applejack gives a look at the crisp in the oven.]

That's pretty nice of you! Looks like the crisp is almost done...

Families around here can be a mixed bag... mine is turning out to be much more bearable than I had anticipated.

[Doof has sweetened the cream with some sugar, and is whipping the cream by hand. Hard work, yes, but a personal touch seems appropriate. And there's a little more baking time to go.

Maybe a little less than he had thought.]

Ehn? Almost? Really?

[He beats with more vigor!]

[Applejack looks up from the oven.]

Sure looks like it! Only takes about 45 minutes, you know. And we've been talking a bit, haven't we? Time flies when you're having fun, Ah guess.

And Ah'm sure it could be worse. Before the folks showed up, it was just the stubborn one, me, and a bunch of drones.

We've been at this that long? Really? Time flies when you're wearing out your arm muscles...

[The cream is whipped and fluffy and pleasant, and he sets the bowl down with an exhausted exhalation. And he shakes his arm out, too.]

This place seems to be filling out more and more, as time goes on. Ah well. More customers!

That's what Ah was thinking when the new folks showed up at the house too!

'Course Ah guess Ah'm relatively new in comparison to some of the other folks around here. And Ah guess mah friends and Ah kinda contributed to the sudden increase as well, since it seemed like we were all brought here around the same time...

[And it looks like the crisp is done, so Applejack grabs a pot holder to fold between her teeth and uses it to pull the treat out of the oven.]

I am pretty new to this place, too. Only a few months. There are some people that have been here for years, I've heard.

...ooh!

[He watches anxiously as she pulls the crisp from the oven. The pot holder covers it, yes, but... gah, burning your fingers was bad enough! Burning your lip would be... ugh.]

Let me get some dishes.

[They did actually serve people on the premises! There were plates and forks available, and he brought some down from their resting place.]

I do think it should cool a bit, before we start in.

[Burning lips can be extremely painful, which is why Applejack is grabbing the edge of the tin daintily in her teeth that are holding the pot holder. And once the crisp is nice and safe on the counter, Applejack sets the pot holder aside.]

Yeah, Ah've heard that too. Even tried talking to a few who have been here pretty long. Not a lot of good to say about this place, from what Ah gathered.

I would much rather be home. And I can think of many, many complaints about this place. And there are a lot of dangerous weirdos. But...

[He wanders away to get a serving spoon to serve up the apple crisp.]

...It has been years since I have had enough reason to... be out of the lair and meeting people. Some of them are... not so bad.

[Applejack can't help but smile about that.]

Some of the folks Ah've met are pretty nice too.

Ah've always enjoyed meeting new people, so at least Ah can enjoy that, right?

If new people are your thing? Then this town has plenty of them.

[He can't wait any longer! He scoops out a portion of apple crisp onto two plates, and puts a generous dollop of whipped cream on both of them.]

I cannot resist! I have been waiting too long!

[Aaaand a forkful goes into his mouth! And it's hot! And he's jumping from foot to foot! But the whipped cream is taking the edge off, at least...]

...this is incredible!

[Applejack chuckles slightly, letting her bit cool before taking a bite. Which she does just straight off the plate, mind you, but makes sure to like any whip cream off her muzzle.]

Thank ye kindly, Ah'm glad you like it so much. And your whip cream is delicious too!

So Ah guess that means Ah can help out around here then?

Absolutely!

[Additional chitchat is delayed while more apple crisp is devoured. Two forkfuls later, he stops.]

The hours are early, for the most part. So much bread to make. However, if we were to put you on duty for desserts, it would free the rest of of us up to take care of the more labor-intensive tasks. How does Monday-Wednesday-Friday sound, starting at 9 in the morning?

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downtoearthpony.livejournal.com - 2011-10-29 21:55 (UTC) - Expand

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doofenstrudel - 2011-10-30 20:48 (UTC) - Expand

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