05 - Sharp-Dressed Villain

[doofenstrudel]

[Action A, 457 Stone Street, Morning]

[It's another marginally beautiful Mayfield morning, and Doofenshmirtz has volunteered to head out front and get the mail. Still half-asleep, he steps over the brown-papered package on the front step, staggers to the mailbox, extracts the bills, and steps back over the package without even noticing it. Click, and the door shuts behind him.

A few moments later he's back out on the step, staring down at the thing he had previously ignored.]

Ehn, what's this?

[Peering down at it, he's surprised to see that it's addressed to him. A suspicious look is cast left, then right, then upwards, then he quickly snatches up the package and retreats inside.]

I've heard about this! They've given me something back! I wonder what it is?

[He shakes the box this way and that, judging the weight of the contents. Still no idea. Ah well! He rips the paper off, lifts the lid off of the box inside, to find that he's been given back his labcoat.]

..it's a start. A pretty good start.

[Action B, Bakery]

[Another day, another dollar. Heinz is at work... well, he's at work. Physically present at work, behind the counter and minding the bakery. But he's not doing much. No baking, no frosting, no kneading. He has a notebook in hand, and he's scribbling in it madly, occasionally muttering to himself.]

I'll need three dozen of those... hm, I'm going to need multiple trips. Taking measurements into account, we'll need this much lumber just for the supports.... ooh, and tarps. Tarps are important. Many tarps.

[And he's got his apron tied over his labcoat. Having gotten it back? It's going to take effort to make him remove it.]

[Action C, Around Town]

[His shift at work is done, and Doof is now out and about shopping. Still wearing his labcoat, of course. And grinning from ear to ear, occasionally consulting his notebook before plucking an item from the shelves and tossing it in his shopping cart. Hardware store, general store, record store, he's stopping by it. His list of needs is long. You might catch him between stores, too, arms loaded with bags.]

Comments

[imoutos]

[ She just stands there, perhaps a bit confused as she just blinks as he rambles on. But after that she notices his mumbling and seems to get a bit more fumbly again, as she quickly bows a little before reaching out to take some of the bags. ]

A-a-ah, please let me help you with the bags, okay..? I promise to do my best, and it would be easier on you, s-so..!

[doofenstrudel]

[He's making a flinchy-face now. And looks hesitant to hand anything over to her... but oh, she must mean well... and getting poked in the armpit is no fun. He sighs, and relents, and holds out the bags gripped in his hands.]

Very well, fine, please take these ones. An assistant should assist, yes? Yes.

[The bags are fairly heavy, and the contents clatter and clink.]

[imoutos]

[ Even if they're heavy, she does try to carry them valiantly. It's not like Nadeko is particularly strong as a fourteen year old small girl, but she's never one to complain, so she just carries them. ]

There we go.. It's much better if your load is lighter, r-right? [ She smiles regardless. ]

[doofenstrudel]

[It's not like Doofenshmirtz is a particularly strong 49-year old man, himself. He had a very large load. At least now, he's not straining on it. With the handing-off taken care of, he starts to walk.]

Absolutely! Thank you. I've spent so much time working alone, I don't immediately think to start asking for help.

[imoutos]

[ At first she seems to struggle a little with catching up, especially while carrying all those bags, but after that she seems to fall more into his pace though. ]

W-well, I'm your assistant now, so I think I should at least do this much for you..

[doofenstrudel]

You're right, you're right. Ah. Assistants! Assistants are nice. Why haven't I gotten one before now?

[Was Norm an assistant? He did make muffins on occasion. And follow orders badly. Eh...

His pace slows down slightly, both as he tires and as he realizes Nadeko is lagging, somewhat.]

Children here have to attend school, yes? I've been assuming it's the case, but you know what they say about assuming, with the "u" and the "me" and the "ass"...

[imoutos]

[ She giggles a little at his first remark, even as she struggles to keep the bags up. ]

That's right.. I normally have to go to school, but it's summer vacation for a little while more, so I haven't been there in a while.. ... [ After that she tilts her head sideways, somewhat curiously. ] What do they say about assuming..?

[doofenstrudel]

Summer vacation! Of course! I would slap myself in the forehead if my arms were not full.

[What? She didn't get it? Oh wait...]

I keep forgetting that we're all getting automatically translated, here. The wordplay probably doesn't work in Japanese. "Assume" has "u" as in you and "me" as in... well, yes. And the word "ass" which... you know. So if you "assume" you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"!

[imoutos]

W-well, maybe it's a good thing your arms are full so you won't slap yourself and probably hurt yourself with that..

Oh.. [ She seems to think about it for a few moments, but then giggles. ] Wow! You're so good at making these wordplay jokes, they're funny.

[doofenstrudel]

Thank goodness for the tiny blessings, yes, yes...

[It's only said with a bit of sarcasm. And a grunt as he readjusts his grip on what he's carrying.]

Thank you! It's a hobby of mine.

[imoutos]

That's a very interesting hobby to have..

Hmm, that almost makes me wonder if you could match up to Koyomi onii-chan's humor.

[doofenstrudel]

Hobbies are important!

...maybe? Possibly? Is this person here in Mayfield? Could we compare?

[imoutos]

A.. ah, yes, it's a person in Mayfield..

[ She very obviously seems a bit downcast at that mention though, her face sinking behind the bags she's holding in her arms. ]

If you'd want to have a humor contest with him now though he would probably lose, since.. i-it's only his drone now..

[doofenstrudel]

Oh.

My condolences.

[Now he's feeling guilty about having brought it up.]

But who knows what the future may bring?

[imoutos]

Hmm, it's fine.. It's better for Koyomi onii-chan to not have to endure everything that goes on in here, after all?

[ Her face emerges slightly from behind the bags again, forcing a little smile. ]

[doofenstrudel]

You have a point. Yes.

[He could have brought up that some drones remembered their droning, or that something even worse might happen... but that would just make things even more awkward and unpleasant. Topic change?]

Are you looking forward to school starting? Or are you disappointed that summer's coming to an end?

[imoutos]

[ Maybe she notices the sudden topic change, maybe she doesn't-- she doesn't comment on it either way. ]

I-if I'm allowed to be honest.. I'm sort of sad that it's starting up again, since it's a little scary there.. The drone kids bully me sometimes.

[doofenstrudel]

They bully you?!

[There's a sudden spike of protectiveness within him, hearing that. How wrong! How completely wrong!]

I don't understand, aren't those drone children supposed to be perfect little stereotypes of childhood that never do anything wrong around the adults and...

...but not the other kids...

...and oh no, I can see exactly how this would work.

[Possible impending horrible childhood flashback in 3... 2...]

[imoutos]

[ horrible childhood flashback involving gnomes.. ]

E.. ehehehe, yes.. [ She giggles, but it doesn't exactly sound happy. ] The drone kids tend to pick on people they don't deem as 'popular'.. Tomoe-san helped me once against them, but.. I'm sort of scared it might happen again.

[doofenstrudel]

[Or wearing hand-me-up dresses...

But the anger that he's feeling is preempting the need to reminisce about his own trauma.]

Little monsters. All of them. Tch....

[Now he's lapsed into an irate silence, pondering just what kind of device he could deploy to solve the problem.]

[imoutos]

[ At the irate silence she glances at him, slightly wide-eyed - probably a little bit confused. Or worried. Or both at the same time. ]

I-it's okay though! It's nothing I can't handle, and I'm used to this much back home too. [ There's a smile on her face, even if it's a bit unsure. ] I'll be just fine, I guess..

[doofenstrudel]

[He is persisting in his grumpiness. Persisting!]

I am not mad at you! You shouldn't HAVE to handle little twerps like that! This is hardly an ideal world, but in an ideal world... none of that! NONE!

If any of those drone-bullies cross the line entirely, let me know.

[That's genuine menace in his voice. No bragging, no bombast, just an unworded threat that people had better not mess with his assistant.]

[imoutos]

[ For a moment it looks like she's going to put up more of her not-too-great-since-she's-a-doormat resistance, but..

Instead her eyes go a little wide with surprise, in a happy sense. ]

Um.. Would you really help me..?

[doofenstrudel]

Yes!

[Something about her surprise takes him back from the angry place that he had gone. He re-shifts his grip on the bags he's carrying, and speaks with a touch more calm.]

You are my assistant. We are a team.

[You are an excellent substitute daughter.]

[imoutos]

... Ah.. [ Her eyes absolutely light up at that, and she nods - partly determined, partly just very, very happy. ]

That's right, we're a team! We have to do our best in working together.