doofenstrudel: (Doof is angry)
[457 Stone Street, from November 29th onwards, locked to housemates]
When I'm sick of takin' abuse / I just make up some lame excuse )

[Action A - 457 Stone Street, December 12th, evening]

[Two dronings had come and gone, and Doof still couldn't bring himself to care. Besides, I Love Lucy was on. He did enjoy watching that. It had yet to go into reruns. But the broadcast cut out, to be replaced with the town's announcement.]

W-what?

[The feed was cut. And with it, the power. And so Doof sat in the darkness, his little couch potato haven roughly jerked away from him.]

But... but I...

[Wrapping a blanket around himself, he shuffled to the front window, pulled one of the blinds aside, and peered out it. The streets were dark. There were no lights in the windows. They were cut off and just proximity to the glass could tell him that it was damned cold out there.]

They're... they're going to freeze us to death. [Disbelief.] They're going to freeze us to death!!! [Anger.] NOT IF DOCTOR HEINZ DOOFENSHMIRTZ HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!!!

[Phone - December 13th]

Ha! Do they really think that a bit of cold will hold us all back? Do they think that we will simply roll over and take their punishment?! HA! They are sadly mistaken!

I, Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, have developed the HOUSE-WARM-INATOR! And no, it is not for pleasantly greeting your neighbors, although your neighbors will appreciate that your house is toasty when they do decide to stop by... [Cough] NEVER THE LESS, I have found a SOLUTION to this enforced cold snap, and do you know what? Do you know what?

I am giving them out. FOR FREE provided that appropriate materials are handed over so I can construct you one, but honestly they're not that hard to scrounge... SO YES. If you are not able to heat your home? If you are tired of your teeth chattering? Come to 457 Stone Street and I will set you up.

And I do hope that you will remember this, someday down the line. Oh yes.

[Action B - 457 Stone Street, Later]

[If you've decided to take Doof up on his offer, or if you've simply passed by the house, you'll notice that the windows are dimly lit even when the power should be out. Care to knock on the door?]
doofenstrudel: (Bwahaha!)
[Action A, 457 Stone Street, Morning]

[Moments after the mailman arrived, Doofenshmirtz was bolting out the front door and rummaging through the mailbox, certain that THIS TIME, something would have been given back to him. He had done the same thing yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, and come up empty-handed except for bills and junk, but today... today, there was a package. A package addressed to him.]

Yes!

[The rest of the day's mail was left to flutter to the ground. Screw it. Let the wind take it. The only important thing had arrived today, and he wasted no time ripping open the brown paper wrapping and sliding it out of the flap on the side. It was flat, and framed. It was his Diploma in Evil.]

Eh? This is it?

[But something struck him, as he held that diploma at arm's length and stared at it. There was an itching behind his eyes, a tingling, the sensation of something bubbling up and boiling over. His eyes widened and his eyebrows nearly shot clear off his face as his mad science came flooding back.]

...oh.

Oh!

Oh yes!

[Suddenly, things were much clearer. Suddenly, he knew exactly what he was going to spend his day doing. Cackling like mad, he skitter-skipped back inside. First, he had to hang that diploma. Then he had to grab the waxed paper and the coat hangers and the oranges from the fruit basket on the kitchen table....]

[Action B, 457 Stone Street, Garage, Mid-morning to noon]

[There is definitely something up behind the partially-opened garage door at this house. There's a definite scent of burning something in the air, vented from inside. Occasionally, there are flashes of bright light. And all the while, anyone who passes by closely enough can hear Heinz's excited muttering to himself as he works.]

Yes, yes, how could I have not seen it before?! With this, I will show them! I will SHOW THEM ALL!!! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

[Action C, Around Mayfield, Afternoon and evening onwards]

[So. Showing them all, eh? Doof is running around town with a device that is one part kludged together bazooka, one part vaccuum cleaner piping, and ten parts "wait, what". Painted on the "barrel" in neat blue lettering is "Bald-Inator". Any questions about just what a Bald-Inator does are easily answered. Doof is taking aim and firing at drones here and there along his way, hitting them with a greenish-blue tinged beam of improbable energy that proceeds to make all of the hair on their head fall out.]

Ha! THAT was for cutting in line at the bank two weeks ago!

[Zap!]

And THAT was for saying that my cakes were too dry!

[He's probably going to get droned for this. He is aware of this fact. He does not care, because he is on a science bender and there is no stopping one of those.]

((OOC: Warning, if you come up to Doof and talk to him, there's a high chance you'll get Bald-Inated. It'll be even higher if you're someone he doesn't like. There's a reverse switch on the device, and I intended it to only be temporary anyway, but yes! HAIR LOSS PROBABLE.))
doofenstrudel: (Unimpressed Doof)
[Phone - Morning]

Haah... there! Finally! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get to the telephone when you've spent your entire morning shrinking and are now about the size of an action figure?!

...

Well, alright, I'm willing to guess that quite a few of you out there understand what I am going through. It is that kind of week.

[Doofenshmirtz sighs.]

Other than an informal poll on how many of us are having height issues... er, I make no promises on how functional the bakery will be today, if the rest of the employees are feeling a bit small, too. You have been warned. And I will point out that you can live for a day without cake. Suck it up.

[Action A - Around Town, mid-day]

[Necessity is the mother of invention, and being this short has necessitated that Doofenshmirtz swipe Barton's tinker toys and assemble them, along with a few other household objects, into something of a protective mech-walker. His intent was to give himself some height, some visibility, and a little protection from the dangers of Mayfield.

It makes him about a foot and a half tall rather than itty bitty. It's something.]


You! You, clear through! Out of the way!

[Also? He managed to rig up a teeny little voice amplifier. It's hard to make a lot of noise when you're that short.]

[Action B - Around Town, late day]

[Oh dear. Doof has suffered a breakdown. One of the tinker-toy joints has come unjointed, and he is struggling valiantly to get it back into place.]

Blast it! And drat it! And damn it, too! Get... get in... ARRRGH!

[Although he occasionally stops to look around and make sure a pigeon or cat won't try to eat him. He was dreadfully, dreadfully itty-bitty. It would be just his luck.]

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Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

December 2011

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