doofenstrudel: (Grimacing Doof)
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz ([personal profile] doofenstrudel) wrote2011-07-13 01:11 am
Entry tags:

01 - Wakey Wakey

[Heinz Doofenshmirtz is hardly a morning person. He can be up in the morning, yes, but his brain takes a few more minutes to kick in and get to the same stage of alertness as the rest of him. It did not occur to him that he wasn't in his own bed. After swinging his legs over the side of the bed and sitting up, it didn't occur to him that those slippers that his feet felt weren't his. On autopilot, he slipped his feet into them, yawned, rubbed his eyes, felt about in his mouth for his grind-guard....]

...whrrphthpph? Ptui!

[No grind-guard. Had he forgotten to put it in last night? He rubbed his jaw, glanced to the side of the bed... then blinked. Wait. Wait. That wasn't his nightstand. And this wasn't his house. These weren't his pajamas, and that wasn't his bed, and that wasn't...

Was that a woman in the bed, over there? That was very much a strange woman in his not-bed! He sprang upwards with an awkward exclamation and stumbled away, now wide awake and fully engaged with the situation.]

...what was I doing last night?! ...I wasn't doing anything last night! I'd had a cup of hot chocolate after working on my Acne-inator, and then grabbed a book, definitely put in my grind-guard, went to bed, and... dwah!

[He had turned himself around and had started to pace. However, being unfamiliar with the room's layout, he stumbled clear into a low shelf, rattling the phone off its hook and bringing a framed photograph to his attention. Him and the lady in the bed. Standing together. Smiling pleasantly, dressed for their wedding.]

Oh boy. Oooh boy. This is strange. I don't remember this. I would think I would remember something like this... This doesn't look like Vegas and there aren't any Elvis impersonators involved, far as I can see. That's how these "wake up in a bed married to a strange woman" things work, right? Vegas? Umbrella drinks? Rhinestones?

[He tilts the picture this way and that, indeed determining a lack of Elvis-content, continuing to mutter to himself. With the phone off the hook, it's likely to be carrying his voice to the big giant Mayfield party line.]

[identity profile] 2011-07-13 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
I've always wanted to try a drink with an umbrella in it. Apparently they make people act really funny, and sometimes lampshades are involved? I don't know what they have to do. Unless you're impersonating an umbrella.

Which is just weird, lampshades are nowhere near umbrella-shaped!

[identity profile] 2011-07-14 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
Well with the shape of umbrellas it isn't much of a shade then, is it?


You were on the phone first! I just wanted to say hello.


[identity profile] 2011-07-13 09:59 am (UTC)(link)
You don't remember any of these things because they never happened.

[ God this guy is an incompetent loser ): ]

You've been kidnapped, you're in Mayfield.

[identity profile] 2011-07-14 10:24 am (UTC)(link)
This isn't a prank, or at least from my end. I'd rather be at home. I'm not sure where this tri-state area you are talking about is, but, Mayfield is apparently in some country called America.

Oh, we're also in the 1950's. It's odd for anyone that arrives here.

[identity profile] 2011-07-15 09:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ Oh god it's time to troll ]

Not a single way out. Some of us have been trapped here for years, decades even. This town is truly one of the most miserable things you'll ever experience. Good luck surviving if you think it's that easy

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imoutos: (just that will make me go floating)

[personal profile] imoutos 2011-07-13 12:41 pm (UTC)(link)
U-um.. I'm pretty sure this isn't Las Vegas, sir.. and I'm not sure what an 'Acne-inator' is, but I don't think they brought it here along with you.
imoutos: (or so i thought; backing away)

[personal profile] imoutos 2011-07-13 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She sounds sort of interesting in the explanation, actually-- but when he starts asking questions she sounds a little more nervous. ]

M-me..? Um, my name is Nadeko.. Nadeko Sengoku, n-nice to meet you, sir.. And 'they' are the people who control this town, I think..!
imoutos: (if the bond is gone as soon)

[personal profile] imoutos 2011-07-13 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
N-n-n-n-n-no way!

[ Yes, she already sounds rather intimidated. ]

I-I promise you I didn't do anything, sir-- I mean, doctor.. I'm stuck here just like you are..

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[identity profile] 2011-07-13 01:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[There's some yelling coming from the bedroom. Not good.

Quietly, Barton creeks the bedroom door open to see what's going on.]

[identity profile] 2011-07-13 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Listens for a moment.

Uh huh. Lovely. You are neither Tenma nor his drone, but it looks like you're the new not-dad.

She opens the door.]

Hey. Stop yelling.

[identity profile] 2011-07-13 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[Frown] That's the other way around. Someone let you in.

[identity profile] 2011-07-14 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
[Hey! Guess who just woke up and is staring at you half-awake.]

Oh, great, here we go again.

[identity profile] 2011-07-14 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
It's a long story. The gist of it is, you've been kidnapped and placed in a fake family and we're supposed to pretend we're husband and wife. There are two girls who live here too, and they're supposed to be our- [airquotes] -'daughters'.

Believe me, I don't like the set-up either.

[identity profile] 2011-07-15 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
[Toni barely suppresses a scream.]


Oh god, no. Uh, no offense. I mean, I'm sure you're a nice guy and all and... no, we don't have to do that. [thank god.]

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