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Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz ([personal profile] doofenstrudel) wrote2011-09-02 07:33 pm

06 - When An Evil Boy Meets An Evil Girl - Locked to Toni

[No one in Mayfield had warned him about this. Oh sure, there was that phone call, but it didn't really make any sense! It was probably just something misdirected, and it had fallen out of Doofenshmirtz's head immediately.

But one moment he was coming home from work and the next he was disoriented and sitting up in an unfamiliar bed while wearing a tux that was a little too tight at the waist.]

What in the heck is this?! that salmon? I think that's salmon.

[It was after a long day of work. He was hungry for something that wasn't a pastry. Red sheets and suspicious bed shapes (and bed partners) were ignored so he could confirm just what smelled so good, over there.

He was already unbuttoning the tuxedo jacket.]

This is probably a trap. But oooh! Little green peas!

[identity profile] 2011-09-03 12:50 am (UTC)(link)
[Toni groaned as she woke up. She had an early shift today and didn't want to get out of bed yet... at least until she realized the sheets had suddenly turned to satin overnight. And what was she wearing?]

...Huh? Where am I?

[identity profile] 2011-09-03 02:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[Doof is here.

And she's wearing a little black dress.

In a heart-shaped bed with satin sheets.

And there's dinner for two on the table.

Toni screams.]

[identity profile] 2011-09-04 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[You scream, I scream, we all scream for terrible situations!]

Oh my god, how did we get here, what is going on, I don't even- salmon? What?

[identity profile] 2011-09-04 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
[She looks at Doof. Then at dinner. Then at Doof again.]

Okay, just to double-check: You had nothing to do with all this.

[identity profile] 2011-09-06 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
[Toni lets out a sigh of relief. She still doesn't know WTF, but now things are a little less awful.]

From the looks of this place, I'd say someone else wants us to do those things. Gross. Uh, no offense.

[identity profile] 2011-09-06 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
[OH NO she hurt his feelings she didn't mean to! She finally climbs out of bed and sits down at the table.]

Hey, hey! Don't say that! You're not that bad a guy! Maybe it just... wasn't meant to be! And believe me, I know some seriously skeevy guys. [He's not a vampire, for starters. That's a plus!] With the kind of company I kept back home, it's kinda unavoidable.

[identity profile] 2011-09-06 04:23 am (UTC)(link)

The kind my parents wouldn't approve of. Some of them were pretty, uh, shady.

[Vague answer is vague. The best part about "shady" is that it applied to anyone from sketchy back alley doctors to undead who couldn't go out in the sun.]

[identity profile] 2011-09-07 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
[She perks up.] Uh, that last one. Their teeth. They didn't have weird looking canines, did they?

[She shakes her head.] You know, I've been here for a long time and seen plenty of weird stuff, but I still feel like I'll get laughed at if I bring it up. For as many of us as there are back home, most people still thought it was a bunch of fairy tales. I mean, the theater I worked at was haunted, and nobody there believed it until I brought in a ghost hunter and it almost killed him!

[Toni realizes she's been picking at the peas with a fork nervously.] So, um. You ever seen a monster?

[identity profile] 2011-09-11 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
Really. [That doesn't narrow it down much.] I'll just keep an eye out, I guess. As for the theater, well, I woke up here before I could find out.

Lake Nose- you mean Loch Ness, right? Yeah, that counts! But I'm talking more than just cryptids. I mean the stuff that everyone just thinks are fairytales. Like vampires. And, uh, werewolves.

[identity profile] 2011-09-14 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
We've got mad doctors, too. And I honestly would not be surprised if they were big on stitching body parts together. Gross.

Well, I can tell you that where I'm from, vampires and werewolves most definitely exist. Speaking from personal experience, I guess you could say. Have you noticed how there's dog hair in the house when we don't have a dog?

[identity profile] 2011-09-14 03:20 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah. I can't say I'm fond of vampires, they're very "holier-than-thou", you know? I've never met many werewolves, though. We're pretty rare.


[identity profile] 2011-09-14 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
[WOW that took forever, but at least the cat hairy deathbeast is out of the bag now.]

Because most of the movies you see make a lot of stuff up. Trust me, if I was any sort of danger to you or the girls I would've told you a long time ago. As it is, my 'abilities' are a little limited right now, anyway!

[She sits back in her chair, suddenly feeling like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.] How does that rank on the scale of weird things you've seen here?

[identity profile] 2011-09-20 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
Not really, no. I'm pretty good at controlling the change, and besides, my talisman came back to me broken so I can't over exert myself anyway.

[She cocks an eyebrow.] Orange talking ponies? I think I had some of those toys when I was a kid.