doofenstrudel: (Bwahaha!)
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz ([personal profile] doofenstrudel) wrote2011-08-20 01:58 am

04 - Various Flavors of Awful

[Action A - Friday the 19th - 457 Stone Street, morning]

[Doofenshmirtz bolts out of bed with such force that the blankets are thrown to the side of the room. Gasping, flailing, he pats himself down to assure himself that he's fine. Head, shoulders, knees, toes, guts, all of them are actually in place... but he's not quite ready to be relieved yet.]

...I'm alive.

[Still in his pyjamas, staring blankly ahead and trying to process the previous day's trauma, he makes his way down into the kitchen. He's hungry. He's thirsty. Unfortunately, someone had apparently already brought the milk in, setting it on the kitchen counter. Convenient! In his semi-drowsy post-ressurection daze, he pours himself a big glass and downs it.]

I'm alive. Alive! ALIVE, I TELL YOU! Ahahahahah!

[Looks like the guy got the hormone free milk.]

[Action B - Same Day - 457 Stone Street, outside, day]

[The garage at 457 Stone Street is wide-open, and there's a horrible ruckus coming from inside it. Objects are being tossed out into the driveway with gusto, and then are retrieved minutes later by a dirty, raving Doofenshmirtz. Sometimes there is hammering. Sometimes the crackle of welding. Occasionally, there's the KER-ZAP of electricity.]

Come on! DO SOMETHING! Arc! Spin up! Work! WORK! WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING!??!

[He's hitting a crudely-constructed metal box with a wrench, over and over and over again.]

[Action C - Same Day - Phone]

I... I am hopeless. Hopeless!

[He sobs into the receiver]

It doesn't work! I've... I've lost my touch! I can construct frames, shells, yes, and wiring really is only wiring and switches are so simple but... but what good is a big red button that does nothing when you press it?!

[A pause, while he blows his nose noisily.]

They took it away from me! My genius! THEY ROBBED ME OF MY GENIUS!!! How am I going to build a Curdleinator and save us all from this horrible place without my genius?!?! THOSE BASTARDS! I WILL MAKE THEM PAY!!!


[identity profile] 2011-08-20 07:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Oh god it's this guy again.

She'll just be calmly sipping her tea before beginning. ]

You can't lose what you never had.

I am giggling so hard rn oh my god I adore your Doof.

[identity profile] 2011-08-21 08:51 am (UTC)(link)

This Homunculus. ]

If my hair falls out, then that'll be just one more thing I can cover with by blaming Mayfield. I had to cut it off once before. [ She has Juri Han with everything in her spirits omg. ] Also, you would find it quite difficult to get me on the lamppost and have me willingly stay there.

Evil science always finds its own way, but somehow you manage to fail at both.


[identity profile] 2011-08-22 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
Suffer? I'd be mildly irritated at having no hair before I decide to invest in a wig. Shamed? Not in the slightest. I highly doubt you'll find the materials needed to even make a dent into my locks.

[ She remains as cold as ever, to the point where it seems nearly robotic if it wasn't for that sultry tone. ]

Ah, but, intellectual mighty Doofensmirtz, to doubt requires conflicted emotions. I don't believe in your supposed intellectual talents, or science talents or evil genius one bit. But surely a genius like you would know this, right?

poor doof... he doesn't know what true evil is.

[identity profile] 2011-08-22 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
You don't even know where I live or my occupation in the town. My so called "surprise" would have to be found when you're able to sift through official city records. [ beat ] But I don't think you'll have the ability to look at official documents without being perplexed.

As I said, doubt implies the fact that I am uncertain of your abilities. I am quite certain, and I'm quite certain that you're incompetent. I've met geniuses and prodigies multiple times, and I can say you're nothing like them [ beat ] Well, that's not true. I suppose you'll be forever lonely with these prodigal skills, much like all of the other geniuses I met.

[ remains composed as a cucumber ]
Edited 2011-08-22 05:34 (UTC)

it is it is

[identity profile] 2011-08-22 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ (troll)

she is so proud of herself today.

she's going to skip drinking the milk and force edward to drink it to celebrate. ]

Action [B]

[identity profile] 2011-08-21 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ they often say that curiosity kills the cat, but Seychelles can't help peering over her not-father's shoulder as he works anyway. ]

Uhm … what exactly is it supposed to do?

[identity profile] 2011-08-21 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
It takes more than a bus or a drone to off a nation, y'know! Not that I would ever want to be hit by a bus or attacked by one of the drones, of course, but you know what I mean. Were you really worried?

Eh? Obvious? Not really. I've never even heard of a Curdleinator until now. [ so that's where the eggbeater went. she begins to poke at the device, which is probably not one of her brighter ideas. ]

[identity profile] 2011-08-21 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
That's right! I'm Seychelles.

Oh, that old joke? [ she raises an eyebrow at the cackling. why can she never have a normal family? why? ] The part about England is true. You're probably safer drinking the milk than eating his cooking, yup.

I-I'm sorry! I just wanted to see it in action. I didn't realize it was actually dangerous.

[identity profile] 2011-08-21 03:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Not necessarily.

I didn't break anything, did I? In the past, I used to be good at building things, but I dunno if I'd be of any use for something like this.

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[identity profile] 2011-08-23 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
Seems like a strange thing to be able to rob someone of. Are you sure? Maybe you're just having an off day!

[identity profile] 2011-08-23 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
Oh... don't cry, please. That's just... [Pathetic? Horrible? She really can't stand to see a grown man cry.]

It's not so bad!

[identity profile] 2011-08-23 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, hey! Don't despair! You won't get anything done that way, Mister... ah?

[identity profile] 2011-08-23 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
Well, that's just a horrible thing to say about yourself, Heinz. May I call you Heinz? You have to think positive!